Good morning, Good evening, Good afternoon and Good day to you. Depending of course on what time of day you got bored enough to track down my latest blog.
I write to you today from the land of snugs ville Ala duvet. I am amongst the entire soft Sponge Bob toy collection and all of the fluffy bunny's, monkeys, pillows, fairy lights and pastel coloured blankies that exist in the world. Have i finally gone mad? Is this a poetic description of my life this week? all calm, fluffy and beautiful with no stress in it? ... No don't be bloody stupid.
Tonight i have organised a girly sleep over with child 2 and 3.
All was well and good, we've done nails, hair, make up well as far as child 3's standards go (my face is green) :0/ we have marshmallows DVDs etc. All 'was' well and good i should say until the sponge bob Ukulele and tambourine came out :0/
Don't get me wrong i have nothing against a bit of Cum By Ya late at night by torch light amongst the soft furnishings but the boy child has only taught child 3 Johnny Cash and Nirvana and played like 'that' quite late on a Friday night is a bit much :0(
To make things worse Child 2 has not stopped talking about i Carly since about 6.15, for someone with less lung capacity than most she has managed not to take a breath for at least 4 hours :0/ And they have also invited the pets !!
I suppose the pets are girls but are girls supposed to smell like that? i think not I have just evicted the dog for silent farting and she is not coming back!.
We are having a sleep over because the boy child has taken his Daddy to see Adam Ant in concert in Bristol Hence the title of the blog,
I realised today that i worry about boy 40 if he goes off and does extra curricular activities, we are always together you see. I'm stressing about Mosh pits really, The boy child is a frequent visitor to these said pits at concerts and I'm not sure boy 40 will like them, its hardly Jools Holland with a civilized picnic and wine at Durham Park :0/ Although reading festival was a bit more lively well until he got lost going to the toilet :0(
May be i shouldn't be such a worry how bruised can your ribs get in a mosh pit? i just feel rather protective over him we have been the best of friends since we were kids i was 11 & he was 13 and i now know him better than he does. His last words as he left the door were come on then son lets go find that mash pot!! :0/ he winked at me at this point but you can see why i worry.....
I'm sure they will be fine i just had a text from them and some fat boy has been thrown out for crowd surfing :0/ well he tried crowd surfing but failed and squashed a girl 4 rows from the front :0/
So back to my sleep over I am able to concentrate on blogging now as they have just disappeared. Apparently the floor is 'Lava' ....... i normally hate it when my floor is lava it happens a lot but at least it gives me five minutes to do this. I say five minutes but even with their Orangutan monkey skills it normally takes at least ten to get from the living room to child 2's bedroom 2 floors above......... its hard without a floor. I'm not sure about the health and safety implications of this frequent floor lava occurrence and am sure there would be much paper work if it was ever to become a game on the shelf in a toy shop!
Safety is something which has not come naturally to me this week, 'pregnancy brain gone awol syndrome' is now at its best. Tuesday morning i left the house as usual to do the school run, being rather large at the moment (a beach ball with legs) is the best way to describe myself. I have to walk the dog on the common each morning, i waddle she runs, this way she gets more exercise than if shes on a lead. This particular day i reached the said common opened the back door of the car and there was no dog :0/
I felt rather foolish as the other dog walkers parked either side of me and got out, for they actually had dogs, so i sheepishly got back in the car and drove off, hoping i hadn't left her somewhere stupid. It was alright she was in her bed when i got back with her lead on and a ball in her mouth :0/
There was now no time now for walkies i settled down to finish some work my last thing to do before maternity leave officially starts. Each year i do the towns maps and posters for the Christmas goodwill evening extravaganza, this year the theme was of a Dickensian nature. This meant lots of vibrant and striking colours and old fashion script type things, old fashioned normally means using the colour yellow ochre, yellow ochre is not a good colour to be painting in when you are also eating peanut butter sandwiches :0/ I have spent years dipping my paint brushes in coffee and drinking from the paint filled water pot but i have never eaten a huge blob of paint before. Yes ladies and gentlemen yellow ochre is exactly the same colour as peanut butter a new discovery i made on this day :0( i just presumed that the big blob on my finger had fell off of my sandwiches and so ate it up. :0( Every time i look at the posters now they make me think of peanut butter and eating paint :0( . Take a look https://www.facebook.com/pages/Rachel-Pegler-Artworks/156853567669303 its a most excellent event too so pop down.
That was not the end of my diet disasters this week. I can safely say that my cooking (not that its ever been great) is getting worse i am disappointed that i have not been evicted from the kitchen. I have though this week combined my cooking skills with a new dragons den idea !!! The doggy pizza Frisbee
................. Its good isn't it? its been tried and tested if your reading Peter Jones, or Debra Meaden. The fling aspect was very successful it went some distance across the patio and the dog played with it for a good 20 minutes. It then (this is the best bit) turns in to a doggy chew, it'll keep your dog entertained for a very long time!! So Debs if your around, because you may be i see your heading up some awards of some sort in town at the mo just pop in, i have many other examples my Toast Flingers are good too the dog loves them in the mornings ;0) Sunday lunch was also a disaster this week. Most people peel there vegetables 'before' they cook them :0/ mine were so brown that i had to peel them afterwards :0( I cant really talk about this anymore there is just too much to say on the matter and it will get very boring.
I write this evening also with a bit of guilt in my mind. The other day i told boy forty that he would probably go to hell and spiral in to a world of gluttony and no morals if he ate the tin of roses chocolates we have in the cupboard before Christmas :0/ ......... I'm sorry to say that i ate the Christmas biscuits when he was at work the other day :0/ now i feel bad Ive also bet him £20 that 'he' will eat them before crimbo such was my angry stance about those sorts of things being 'special' luxuries :0/
I'm just going to have to blame it on the baby child 4, she loves biscuits!!
I was very touched the other Saturday. Knowing about my hideous cravings for prawns at the moment my good friend Paul follower number 2 (out of 3,500 secret readers get in) kindly spent the afternoon cooking me a whole tray of prawn vol-a-vents !!!! My god i was so happy that day. My other good friend his wife and side kick Ali then got in her car and drove the 4 ish miles to my house to deliver them!!! how bloody nice was that??? ill never forget that as long as i live. I could not however share the vol-au-vents though and i am sad to say i ate the whole lot :0)
Child 3 has this week decided that if child 4 is born before Christmas that she has enough things already in her room and so father Christmas shouldn't bother until next year :0/ ...... i feel the jealousy is still there :0/ I almost did give birth the other day thanks to child 3. I was in my room last Thursday evening and thought id put on my potato sack and slippers ready for bed, i put some washing away, shut the curtains tidied up a bit and generally pottered about for at least 15 minutes, It was all very quiet and calm i then lifted my duvet to get the said nightie / potato sack.
I must have jumped 3 ft in to the air RAAAAAA shouted small person number 3 at the top of her lungs god knows how long she had been under there and how the hell she made the bed perfectly over the top of herself i just don't know. This made her laugh so much she couldn't stand up. I swear i nearly had a heart attack that's a big thing to find in your bed unexpectedly. She bunked off of school the day previous to this, to give her her due she was displaying ill symptoms and did have a genuine temperature. I have a very accurate under arm thermometer ( i need one with child 2) and small person 3 was smugly looking at the numbers on it (everyone in my house knows what the numbers should be) Seeing as there is an awful bug going round the school i thought it best to keep her at home, i really don't like the thought of teachers having to clean up sick off of the floor :0/ all was well she watched sponge bob all day but about 2.00pm i saw a 100% improvment i could tell this by the way she could run 'that ' fast round and round the living room.
That evening i spied on her in her room, i often do this just because her and child 2 are so funny. There she was with the temperature thermometer flinging it down from under her armpit saying ' grrrrrr that was even rubbish er than last time !!' :0/ I'm just hoping she doesn't discover what happens if she sticks it behind the radiator, i fooled my mum with that old chestnut a million times ;0) I keep trying to drum it in to her that she really isn't too clever not to go to school sometimes. Her attitude when shes not there is that it will give the other kids a chance to catch up :0/
Shes just like 9 A'S boy child her mental arithmetic is unbelievable i cant do the sums she can do in her head with a calculator, mind you I'm crap at mental arithmetic, just good at being mental ? The other day my spelling was so bad the spell checker couldn't even work it out :0/ I recon they get their brains from their daddy but that's OK cos they get their strikingly good looks from me ;0)
I am quite sure child 3's mischievousness comes from her highly intelligent brain being bored. I went to waitrose this evening just to pick up a few things for our sleep over and general groceries for the weekend. Child 3 was in charge of the trolley and was skidding about in a scary manner as per usual, i pretended as i do that she was nothing to do with me. I then bumped in to a friend at the cheese isle and we chatted for quite a while. It was not until we reached the check out that i realised what small person number 3 had done, whilst i was chatting she had very kindly gone to the weighing scales near the mushrooms, she then had thoughtfully weighed all of my shopping and had kindly printed out sticky labels for it all with useful bar codes and prices. So now my potatoes which were £1.99 became £4.00 the mushrooms which were £2.00 were now £3.84 . I frantically tried to remove all of these sticky labels in the queue before it became my turn to pay, I'm sure the other customers must have thought i was doing something extremely dodgy, the kids by now were sat opposite on the windowsill so it appeared that i was on my own :0/ child 3 costs me a fortune at super markets once she gave the entire contents of my purse to the guide dogs for the blind :0(
Well apart from actually forgetting my own address this week i have nothing else to report, thank god for post code checks that's all i can say.
Ah well i better go the two orangutans have made it to their destination and I'm presuming the floor is no longer lava which is good because my heavy hefelump body would never be able to avoid the floor.
Till next time dudes xxx
